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-troubles-
who doesnt have? its part and parcel of life i guess...school, family, friends, relationship, wads new? to think of it, the reason they form part of ur troubles would be beacause they are dear to u or else y would u bother. on hindsight, its just a matter of handling that really matters ultimately. if handled in a proper frame of mind and with appropriate actions, the matter will be resolved and u will be much more equipped should a similar situation arises again. it really is a process of learning and i've really learnt alot thru these years...sometimes gotta learn it the hard way but well u'll never forget it i suppose was browsing a book frm central library and came across a nice stanza frm Victorian Poetry by Robert Browning: How say you? Let us, O my dove, Let us be unashamed of soul, As earth lies bare to heaven above, How is it under our control To love or not to love? i love poetry by the way, the way it delves into ur inner self with inncredibly simple yet impactful words that really illustrates your feeling. im learning to write poetry -new found interest- hope to make my debut soon..hahhaha sch gonna reopen soon and saw many of my frenzs sank into the depression associated with sch. for me, mixed feelings actually, this sem gonna be harder without doubt with 2 mods needing stats. gotta work hard to make sure my cap doesnt drop - i really hope. sometimes i wan sch, sometimes i dun...hahahaha im mad again bleahhhh -post camp mortem- haha..wad a duh title but i like!! oh well, its me...initially i thought i wasnt a camp person which still stands haha..but i truly enjoyed myself throughout the entire camp. it was a v meaningful and well organised camp to start off with. thanks to all the stuff esp tremandy, puay san and all the other camp crew!!! the ''MAD'' - make a difference camp is a mentor training camp, a pre requiste for one to be mentor. I think i've chosen a very fruitful and meaningful cca - to befriend a mentee and to provide guidance and to lend a listening ear to someone...on a sidenote, a mentor needs to heard as well but well...oops there are many memorable moments in the camp, but i shall highlight some special moments. there was this game where we are supposed to sit on the lap of each teamate in a circle and see which group last the longest without falling..the trick to this game would be to trust each other by putting all your weight on ur frenz + much perserverance. our grp emerged winners! the rationale would be to build trust and support among group mates which is vital in our mentoring journey..umm meaningful the other activity involves exchanging 2 of our most valuable possession. u shld have guessed it..hp and wallet! the other party will have full access of everything inside. my partner although in my team but we are not close. dun have the natural bond. we trusted each other so we just looked into each other wallet! nth much actually. twin! he saw the ''ba zhang'' photo u drew for me! haha..anw my wallet v empty nth much...this activity may seem meaningless right but it isnt, in fact i think it is the most meaningful. it was to incaculate that we as mentors must protect ourselves as well and not allow mentees to overstep certain boundaries. In these, our own privacy should be protected. other activities include the nite games which we were supposed to clear 8 stations and by going to the station in the millipede position. haha..real fun but v humid! all the games require intense cooperation and teamwork to get thru! we got in 2nd to prove that our grp are nocturnal animals caused we flunged in the day. got zero balloons hence no points to bid for our lunch!! argghhzz..i dun wan to be poor..haha..cos we had 510 points the first night activities include trustfall. trust me, its real fun but we almost dropped my last team mate but its not my fault..cos he didnt have full trust in us by bending his legs and most of his body weight felt on me..all concentrate at his back. the impt key to this is to divide the weight equally so u would be caught. anw, it was a near miss but it made us realise this impt lesson..other memorable ones include untangling ourselves blind-folded, fixing the lego blind folded, 3 of us are allowed to talk but not see, while those outside are allowed to see but not talk..im so fortunate compared to those blind or mute...how many times we overlook such simple but important things..an important realisation indeed.. by one of the counsellor '' building a relationship with a mentee is just like any other relationship..be it bgr, friendship etc. we all have this ability to do so...'' how true... SMP traditional game - its this game where boxes are drawn and many rules drawn up. supposed to cross this river without falling into it where there are ''crocodiles''. whenever someone falls into it or a rule is breached, the entire group will have to start all over again. its a test of perserverance and determination plus lots and lots of teamwork cause the goal is to get the entire group of 100 over to the other side of the rive. not an easy task although it seems easy. we took abt 4 hrs plus to accomplish this mammoth task! the sense of satisfaction is undescrible... lastly, how can i forget the frenzs i made in this camp! they are really fun ppl just like the frenzs i made at cpf! i'll nv forget the ti ti game we played while waiting for the river game and the animal game tt we played in our hotel room at 430am? we were high on lack of slp plus madness!! haha really glad knowing u guys..u've really made this camp a truly memorable one.. ps: me and my angel wrote the same thing for the survey; the question:"if u were a word, what would u be?" we had the same reply and it was: ''huh?'' how coincidental could that be... finally thanks saife, weijie, fushan, jonas, yunru, clara, li xian, june, neela!!! CTSS!! haha...glad i posted to a sch near my sch..oops rhymes! wad an eventful holiday i had! i never expected mine to be so fulfilling and meaningful. firstly the friends i made at cpf..this was the most unexpected as after abt 1 mth plus we became close friends and the fun that i had which seriously overshadowed the mundaness of the job. but the job was also a gd experience and eye opener. Im really glad as it really help me tide over this long holidays or else i would be so broke.. 2nd i managed to find my long lost twin!! haha...we seriously think alike in almost everything except in instances where the voltage level is low...LOL!! i really love our gatherings where we had so much fun and i really hope this will go on...for siti and twin!*exco* members..better noe wad to do huh..or else u shall face the boot! hahaha....oops i didnt take my medicine wad a long entry! -untitled- life is full of surprises, no doubt but mine's the form of poor results thanks, but thats something i can do without and crying out loud dun help just 1 short stanza..haha too lazy to think and have some kinda of mental block. but seriously for me i have more uncertainty in my life than any surprises. uncertain of things, people and myself. managed to overcome some esp myself, but there are certainly many things that are beyond my control such as people and happenings around me. well...life is uncertain i suppose, u never noe wad will happen the next day, so treasure everything u have today. - the never satisfied human - are we created like that? nature or nurtured? hmm..*ponders* the rich wants to get richer, the not so well off wants to have a better life, who doesnt? the plump wants to be slim, the thin wants to be thinner till they look like the supermodels or pop stars..dreams and ambitions are necessary or there would not be any room for self improvement, courage to pursue dreams and the passion for life would start to diminish... however, we shld never be obsessed with it or it will cause unimaginable consequences. unscrupulous, conspiracy, hypocrisy, pretence, losing ur conscience are just some...the list goes on i am appreciative with what I have...i couldnt ask for more. dun compare yourself with others or you will never be happy. goals are essential, it gives u the motivation to try to better yourself, the challenge to be a better person. warning - over indulgence harms..heh haha...philosophical me resurfaces again! ''turtle in the hard shell..turtle power.." wahhaha...a tribute - my last day in cpf - mixed feelings actually. realised that cpf is no different frm army. inefficient organisation managed by useless people who really suxs. sometimes i wonder how they really made it to their current post they are holding. *crap* i mean the govt top up - couldnt they forecast the crowd due to the ''rumored'' deadline? couldnt they put more seats? couldnt they open more counters? and please stop the squabbling in front of old folks! i know u are all useless but do you know there is something known as pride. i doubt. you do not have to highlighten ur incapability in front of the old folks by having heated arguments. do you noe that the cisco guard is luffing away at u all - senior management. i can do a better job. >.- cos ur standard is way too low i can wake up later!! hooray! no more early morning rush for the train. no more everything! i can see the afternoon sun! i can swim as and when i wish! i can go for executive set lunches, high teas and wadever = freedom! sounds tai tai..haha but wait i didnt include spa.. but i will miss the laughter, the fun we have, the company i have...the scandals!! i really hope the scandal-us club will go on strong. as long as im the prez, i will keep it going... - a bus ride - remembered watching a korean drama think its titled ''bus-stop'' one of the v few korean shows i watched. a touching show - about a bus captain who is passionate about his job and how he manages to find true love in his job. many a times, i like the solitutude when Im travelling in bus, it gives me a moment to think about things as well as to reflect on myself. I like the time I had to myself, that truely belongs to me. it gives me a chance to take a step back and observe things and people around me. every individual is unique and behind every face lies many stories, happiness and sadness. basically - everything. the feeling of reality sinking in, just sitting back and all your troubles and stress just surfaces. the feeling is overwhelming. however recently this feeling is no longer as intense..perhaps even non existant, could this be a sign that my troubles have diminished considerably? or its just simply innate within me? i guess it should be the former..i do not feel as ''burdened'' as before, realise that my so called problems are really insignificant compared to the miseries of the world.. just some thoughts..my blog taking longer to write! ciao a scandal-us day had so much fun ydat! although the turnout was the smallest of the three outings we had so far but for me at least, it was the funnest!! my bet would be that the club members will get more exclusive. i dun ostracize but just group them according to ''clickable/non clickable'' haha...new term! its fun if the entire grp belongs to clickable!! so much more fun rather than to put on a false front! tiring la..and cannot really be myself = mad! guess me,geri and sc are really mad! really really anyway dun think anyone will doubt us. the mrt trip was hilarious! i cant believe my disciple to come up with smth so crappy! omg... fireworks!! i have a love hate relationship with you. the sparks make you realise how beautiful life can be if u choose to look at the bright side of things but well i dun like it the moment when the sparkles die down followed by a period of emptiness. I hate this feeling, although I know every good things in life will come to an end some day, but i just do not want it to come so soon. want it to last forever. fireworks mirror life. nothing last forever. no matter how beautiful it may be, it will come to and end someday. Perhaps this could be the reason i do not like clubbing, i do not like the ''empty'' period after the hype in clubs. I prefer tranquilty and peace appreciating the minutes details of life that are often neglected. - war of the worlds - the movie suxs, reinforced my perception that brad pitt looks much better than tom cruise, and a sucky plot that involved running a marathon. plus the stupid aliens that really looked like yoda/predator and the stupid reason y they self destructed..steven spielberg is going downhill with this movie plus the showcase of Ny which didnt win the Olympic bid well one scene that was worth mentioning would be the little girl who was told by her brother to fold her hands in front of her. It was done to calm her down cos of the massive destruction that she saw. she was told "you would not be harmed within this zone" this scene made me ponder *we are too prone to live within the comfort zones in our lives* once there are any changes, we would not be able to adjust to the circumstances. i admit i was once afraid of change, who isnt? I wished everything remain the same as before, but however reality is often not the case. changes do occur and we must learn to adapt and move on in life. dun dwell on things that had already happened, instead focus on the present and the future. *easier said than done* sighz heh.. but when u succeed, it will make you a stronger person..at least *mentally* heh... am i living in bangkok? *sweltering heat* tinted glasses should a pregnant women give birth out of wedlock be ostracized by society? should gays/lesbians be frowned upon? should you condemn a person when certain actions/words do not go well with you? heard from a friend that no matter how bad a person u think he/she is, there will still be a light in them that you should see. Instead of focusing on the negatives, why not see the postives in the negatives.. most of the times, people put on tinted glasses. even without interacting with them, they have already formed an opinion on that person by simply the first impression or even by the hearsay of the background of the person. no matter wad, i know it can be quite that difficult to totally ignore opinions but one should not be totally influenced by it. give people a chance, give urself a chance. a tribute - transformation Beautiful is homely, Her home is at Holland V, She's abit crazy, Not at all womanly She thinks shes trendy, Though she looks lousy, Worse than ordinary, Ultimately ugly. the above poem sums up the craziness and crapness that my workplace is..its been so much fun and of course laughter. really more OG and the orientation i been through. frequent outings, endless banters and loads of laughter simply sum up the enjoyment i had in my temporary job. this was simply unimaginable and it had really been a v fulfilling holidays frm the outings, gatherings and friends that i have made during this short stint! real fun! its coming to an end soon and i will defin miss those days..heh..till den *yawn* me - a snapshot life's tribulation not an easy mission pulled through with determination plus abit of perserverance builds up resilience to live with optimism and exhilaration a streak of rebellion an act of defiance dislike reliance adore independence overwhelming self confidence without any arrogance "heal the world, make it a better place, for you and for me and the entire human race...there are people dying if you care enough for the living, make a better place...for you and for me..." ignore the controversies, scandals and ''drop-off'' nose but this song is really meaningful and if my memory serves me well..its frm the album black or white. recently read abt the live8 concert to relieve poverty..1 thing tt touched me would be that a life is lost in africa every 3secs. the snapping of fingers every 3sec is a reminder of the harsh and stark reality that is facing 3rd world countries... moan abt the hassle, lament about the bustle..yet we forgot about the life essentials. not a saint, neither an angel, just the cheepmunk in me, i want to be! hate snobs esp nus ones...booo! 2nd entry of the day! got this strong desire to voice out my displeasure..or rather thoughts..heh - an unforgiving society - so what if ppl do not achieve as much as what is expected of them? these expectations are constructed by society, family and peers..are you sure they are not successful then? bleah..wad rubbish! I strongly believe everyone is successful in their own way, their unique talents, their unique identity..u may be successful academically, - a high flyer - i applaud u for your achivements but does that make you a "greater" person? nah...if u believe so, slap yourself, i dun wan dirty my hands! so what if ppl take a "longer" route to success? who are u to judge? realise here, people judge too far too often and are highly critical of things. why not take a step back and reflect upon themselves? they have stereotypes of how a person route shld be - be it in education or marriage..spare me all these! thats just not me..y shld one be bogged down by all the time scales set? by this age u must be in jc, this age u shld be in uni, this age u shld be working...loads of rubbish haha...worst still heard frm my frenz frenzs..that he saved up for his dowry in sec sch!? oh my goodness...am i in the 21 century? haha...they would have timline like by this age must have gf or else how to marry by 28....argh..cant stand! perhaps i treasure freedom and value it greatly... unconventional it may seem, untradtional it may be...but thats me! the one and only me..wahahaha till den ciao... rainbow - the element in fairytale a realist, not one to believe in fairytales. however i do indulge in my own fantasy world at times who doesnt? this quote just pop up in my mind "take life seriously but live it lightly.." meaningful hur hur...used to be serious and uptight but now...totally opposite poles..*sigh* haha...wheres my medicine? oh no..suddenly realise im crazy obsessed with quotes and stuffs... back to rainbow. saw 2 rainbows side by side while in the bus. I just simply love rainbow cause it is the closest thing to fairytales..for me at least. somehow staring at it gives me the solace and comfort i find..so rare so precious in concrete singapore. in my old home in bedok..i remember how i used to be able to see the full rainbow frm cause the view is totally unobstructed, could even spend a few hours looking at it *totally engrossed* Wheres the pot of gold?! heh..the colors of rainbow represents the multi facets of life and the hope in each of it... Poem composed! Treasure life's little gift Or regrets it shall leave Happiness - Life best gift A smile or laughter it may give cheesy rite...haha dun luff! anyway I came up with another 2 lines: Living in fantasy, checked by reality.....(awaiting inspiration to complete...) had a drink with darren and jene (darren's frenz), its just amazing how we managed to have this engaging conversation considering i just knew her a few hours ago. perhaps its the similar mindset and mentality therefore can sort of click..this makes me think its not how long u noe a person, but its the thinking tt matters. Mine is defin not the conventional and typical asian mindset tt most chinese have. Nothing wrong or stereotyping of that but its just simply not my style. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and thinking, just dun interfere in mine! heh... tired but fun! ciao... My First Poem - Attempt Dun luff! I remember during my primary school when writing autobiography where signatures and wishings are collected from classmates. I think Im the only few that dun have such fad thing..haha during my times - seems so long ago - there isnt even a thing called hp. pager (not sure whether its invented yet) heh.. Most common poem: Roses Are Red, Violets are Blue...(Y I love U, Only U noe) whahaha....2nd part is the remix version sshh...wahahaha K. enough crapping. Im not talented in poems cause I hate writing descriptive essays and my imagination cannot run wild. Building castles in the air is a pre requiste but I cant. heh...really *envy* those who can come up with flowery language to descibe simple happenings around them. I am better off with factual essays... Here I go: Treasure life little gifts, or regrets it shall leave.......(see get it? inspiration running out...cannot even complete another 2 more sentences) :X to be cont...heh *yawn* ciao |
| Name: aLvIn lOvEs cHipMunkS Age: 22 Likes: me, myself and I.. Dislikes: fakers plus schemers plus hypocrites! exterminate them all..heh Archives: June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 January 2006 |
